Dad's Diddies:

We had an outage at my place this morning and my PC, laptop, TV, DVD, iPad and my new surround sound music system were all shut down.  Then, I discovered that my iPhone battery was flat and to top it off, it was snowing outside, so I couldn't play golf.  I went into the kitchen to make coffee and then I remembered that this also needs power, so I talked with my wife for a few hours.

She seems like a nice person.

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"It's only when you see a mosquito landing on your testicles that you realize that there is always a way to solve problems without resorting to violence."

 

"Life is tough and it is tougher when you are stupid". - John Wayne

When you are dead, you don't know that you are dead. It is difficult only for the others. It is the same when you are stupid!

The problems we face today exist because the people who work for a living are outnumbered by those who vote for a living.

 

 

 

THE  BLONDE AND THE LORD A  blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and  finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the  ice.  After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a  circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice  boomed, "THERE  ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!" Startled,  the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos  of  Cappuccino,  and began to cut yet another hole. Again from the heavens the  voice bellowed, "THERE  ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!" The  blonde, now worried, moved away, clear down to the opposite end  of the  ice. She set up her stool once more and tried again to cut her hole. The  voice came once more, "THERE  ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!" She stopped, looked skyward!  And said,  "IS THAT YOU LORD?" The voice replied, "NO, THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE HOCKEY RINK!"